Friar Hugo Badilla reminds us of something Saint Augustine used to say: “we become what we love”; and, looking at our lives, our day-to-day, we may conclude that what we love is being right. Furthermore, we must recognize that, in our communities and ministries, we often fall into an invisible trap: believing that we are speaking with the other, when in reality what we are doing is waiting for our moment to continue with our own discourse.
Within the Church environment, there is a spiritual mandate that resonates today with great strength and vitality: “Our quarrels will end when our monologues become dialogues.”
The Confinement of the Monologue: The “Self” as a Cell in Consecrated Life
In The Confessions, Saint Augustine teaches us that sin is a turning inward on oneself (incurvatus in se), and the monologue, we could say, is the verbal expression of that turning inward.
Living from a monologue means the other is not a brother or sister, but a spectator or, in the worst case, an obstacle. In consecrated life and among the committed laity in our ministries, the monologue often disguises itself as fidelity to the rule or apostolic zeal: “It has always been done this way,” “I know what the community needs.” A discourse that does not allow for questioning is not truth; it is ideology. Quarrels are born there, where two walls try to convince each other that they are windows.
Dialogue as a Vocational Path and Experience of Communion
Moving from monologues to dialogues is not simply speaking in turns; it must become a sacred activity, a space where truth emerges and relationships are built from the other and with the other. Augustine, with great lucidity, said that “if you want to know someone, do not ask them what they think, but what they love.” Dialogue is the bridge that allows us to cross toward what the other loves.
Taking the step toward dialogue within a consecrated family means recognizing that the charism does not belong to me alone. The Holy Spirit is not a soloist; He is a harmonizer. When a consecrated person listens to another consecrated person or a layperson, and vice versa, they are recognizing that the “charismatic Body” we speak of needs all its cells to survive. Dialogue becomes the antidote to fragmentation because it forces us to leave our mental comfort to inhabit our brother’s reality.
Three Keys to Growing in Affectivity and Listening within the Vocation
For the “we” to flourish in our relationships, we need to practice three attitudes that Saint Augustine lived in his own community:
The first key is to provide space for interior hospitality: before receiving the other into the community, they must be received in one’s thoughts. Dialogue begins when I open space for the other’s truth within my heart.
The second key stems from the generative question: moving from the dynamic of the monologue that asserts its own position to the dialogue that proposes: “help me understand how you see this.”
And finally, the third key is active silence: it is not the silence that is quiet because it does not care, but the silence of one who listens so that the other can “be.” Augustine insisted that the Interior Master speaks in silence. If my soul is full of my own noise, I will never be able to hear what God is saying to me through the person in front of me.
The Prophecy of Listening in the Church and the World Today
Today, presenting communities that dialogue is the most revolutionary act we can offer the world. In a society interconnected by social networks, which are resonance chambers for clashing monologues, a community that knows how to “lose the argument” to win over a brother is a sign of the Kingdom.
As the recent synodal process reminds us, dialogue is the “scent” of the people of God in action. When we stop giving lectures and start listening to one another, contentions do not just end; they become steps on an ascending ladder toward a deeper unity.
Conversation or Conversion: The Heart of the Vocation
In the end, taking the step from monologue to dialogue is not simply a communication technique, but a process of conversion of the heart.
Saint Augustine reminds us that: “As love grows in you, so in you beauty grows.” And there is nothing more beautiful than a community where voices do not compete, but rather intertwine in fraternal harmony. Today is a good day to silence our monologues and open space for our brothers and sisters.
